How Do We Get Grandparents on Board with Sleep Training?

Family time is even more precious now than ever before.

In the past two years, your baby might not have been able to see their grandparents as much as Grandma and Grandpa would have liked. Hopefully, you’ve been staying creative with virtual Zoom calls to keep your family together even while you’re apart, and maintaining face time.

Especially since nobody’s love compares to a grandparent’s love. And that’s also why it is nearly impossible for us to tell our child’s grandparents that sleep training will make their little treasure cry!

During my experience as a certified Child Sleep Consultant, I’ve received numerous emails from clients who were “sorry” to inform me that they needed “more time to convince their parents to accept sleep training.” Some parents even decided to start sleep training after the grandparents leave town because “there is no way that they will understand why we let our baby cry for a minute, let alone an hour!”

I get it. No grandparent wants to see their darling grandchild cry!

I’ve even had one client whose father-in-law “threatened” to call the police if she let his grandson cry for one more minute. Luckily, I got a chance to talk to him on the phone and calmed him down. That made me think of other parents who are out there embarking on sleep training on their own. What should they tell grandparents about sleep training? What will be the most accessible, scientifically convincing, and friendliest way to introduce this seemingly taboo topic of “We will let our baby cry…a little”?

Here are my top guidelines for having that conversation. I truly hope my proven tips will ease your way into building a harmonious atmosphere at home with your child’s grandparent(s) during sleep training.

“I (We) have decided to sleep train our baby because…”

1.     My baby needs more sleep, and better sleep.

A well-rested baby wakes up happy. A tired baby wakes up grumpy. No one wants a grumpy baby.  

Babies and toddlers need more sleep than adults. Sleep helps them grow and thrive. Poor sleep quality and quantity can cause significantly negative impact for children in the following areas: 

• Alertness and attention 

• Happiness and overall mood

• Cognitive performance

• Memories and learning ability

• Immune system

• Temperament

2.     I want to be the best version of a parent I always planned to be and I myself need sleep to achieve that.

“With more sleep, I will be happier. I will be able to take care of my child with more energy, which in turn, will help him/her grow and enjoy our time together with each other and with you.”

You can also list the effects of sleep deprivation on your body here, of which there are many, such as depression, lower immunity, irritability, anxiety, and forgetfulness. Approximately 6,000 fatal car crashes are caused by drowsy driving each year!

We don’t want to be fuzzy parents with fussy kids! We want to be happy and clear-minded parents, to pave the way for equally happy and clear-minded little ones. 

3.     Crying is not the key component. Do NOT focus on the crying.

Our child cries to protest when we change their sleep habits. Change is not easy for anyone of any age to accept. “It may seem unfamiliar and difficult to understand at first for them and for you, but that’s why there is a structured sleep training plan that I, as the parent, will strictly follow.” According to scientific research studies conducted and analyzed by pediatricians and child behaviorists, crying during sleep training is only temporary and will not cause emotional damage in young children.

4.     We will work with a professional sleep specialist.

If you plan to hire a pediatric sleep consultant, please share her/his information with your parent(s). Showing them positive testimonials can give them a better idea of what to expect at the end of sleep training, and the potentially rewarding results.

Last but not least, trust yourself.

After all, it is possible for our parent(s) to believe in something they can’t fathom. We just have to convince them to embrace change, too. Your confidence in your child and in sleep training will help you achieve your sleep goals for your entire family.

If you’re interested in setting up a free 15-minute consultation to address this, and/or other issues as you plan to embark on sleep training your baby, I am ready to help you see and keep your family smiling!